Monday, September 20, 2010

SABIDURÍA LITERARIA.----LITERARY SAVVY.© Carlos de la Parra.(Spanish and english versions here) clic down for more.

El profesor Fuentes tenía frente a sí al alumno más revolucionario y progresista de la universidad.
El joven estudiante aprovechó que se encontraba cara a cara con el laureado autor y le lanzó en seco la pregunta cargada:
---¿Cual diría usted que es el atajo más directo a lograr la novela más innovadora de la actualidad?---

----Eso es más que sencillo ,----contestó el maestro,----basta con sentarse a escribirla con la seguridad de que usted es el indicado para lograrlo, suelte todo lo que traiga en su interior ,termine el primer borrador en un año, luego desarme cada tema que haya tratado y sométalo a la duda de exactitud, obtenida la mejor opción, elimine lo innecesario y lo redundante, mate todos los adjetivos que pueda, déjelo a refrigerar en un contenedor un segundo año, pasado éste lapso revise que tal aguantó el paso del tiempo, elimine lo obsoleto y rescriba cada capítulo cuatro veces, una vez que termine toda la obra, guárdela otro año más y repita todo ésto hasta que vea que está perfecta.----                                                                                                      
---Oiga pero con ése método puede uno tardar cinco años---                                                                               
----O diez, éso es irrelevante. Hemingway se pegó un tiro cuando se dió cuenta que ya no podía lograrlo.---

---Bueno en tal caso yo podría pegarme el tiro, y alcanzo la fama evitando tanta labor.---

----Dudosamente, quizás pudiése que el final de usted llegue a nota periodística curiosa, pero quedaría en el olvido en pocos años, en cambio si lo hago yo aumento a mi leyenda, éso solo lo adquiere uno habiendo ocupado un sitio en la historia. Si lo duda, le mostraré ésto.----

Y el profesor Fuentes se sorrajó la bala de .45 en la sien derecha rociando sesos y sangre por todo el salón.
El alumno asimiló ésta lección de tal forma que hoy día escribe comerciales para una famosa marca de insecticidas.

ENGLISH VERSION.

Professor Fountains, one of the most likely candidates for the Nobel prize in literature was the guest speaker at a renowned institution that produced great writers. At this point in time he was being subjected to intense questioning by the leader of the student body, who was considered by his peers as an outstanding promise in the upcoming generation of new writers. The latest Mr.Cool embodiment.
He shot a loaded question, expectancy arose within the audience to watch a verbal skirmish.
---Sir, what kind of advice would you render on the subject of writing the most groundbreaking novel of our current times?---

The answer was delivered with exquisite soft irony, with that perfect edge in words and phrasing privvy to the chosen few.
----Oh, that is quite a simple task.----( laughter from the audience),----Sit down and write it.( more laughs).
But refrain from doubting even for a nanosecond that you are the qualified person to comply with this endeavor. To establish the construction process bring forth all your material. Remember writing or recording everything in your mind is only to review the existing possibilities. If any. (roaring laughter). Once you can see these body parts the assembly process begins and you chart the course of each chapter that will render this creature able to stand before the brightest light.
Then take the next year to assemble the body, and then proceed to review it in chapters or segments through a process of deconstruction in which you will fine tune it for accuracy, and the indispensible editing out of repetition, irrelevance, minutiae,etc and the killing of as most adjectives it can withstand.
Now for the test of time, freeze it for a year in a container, and upon your reading it after this seasoning period, and polish and rewrite five or more times until it's almost perfect, and this "almost" is crucial, don't forget what Zaratustra said about "too much perfection is an error".----

---But that could take up to five years--- ,said the cool one.

----Or ten. Which is irrelevant .Hemingway shot himself when he became aware he could no longer do this again.----

---Well ,that being the case, I could skip all the time and effort, and reach instant fame by killing myself.---

----No offense, but to be brutally frank you would get your fifteen minutes, and these might even extend for a couple of years, but after that you would reach total oblivion.----

---And what do you suppose would happen if you ever take such a step.---

----All modesty aside, my case would differ. It would only add to my own legend. You see once you occupy a niche in history , even a suicide, can be validated, if you allow me I will demostrate as follows.---

Having said that, professor Fountains placed a .45 against his right temple,and pulled the trigger spraying part of the conference room with blood and brain splatter.
The young student assimilated this lesson in such a way that now he writes and directs commertials for a famous brand of insecticide.

6 comments:

  1. ¡¡Muy bueno!!

    El alumno eligió el camino más sencillo y tranquilo.
    Excelente redacción.

    saludos.

    mariarosa

    ReplyDelete
  2. Es por ello que yo escogí escribir microrrelatos. Me alejan del ego. Excelente, Carlos.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hmmm...

    ¿Hay fórmulas en la lietratura, en la vida?

    Ensayo, error, destino, talento explotado a tiempo.

    Gracias por su visita a mi blog.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Gracias a tu comentario le hice una edición a Soliloquio 16.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like the final twist.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hay querido amigo!!!! iba todo barbaro hasta el arma!!!!!!!

    Me congelaste!!!!

    Cariños

    ReplyDelete