Abu Kabriti, el fabricante de telas más importante del momento, elaboró una camiseta de golf con las especificaciones solicitadas por su cliente el gran golfista Trijuán del Caso.
Trijuán sería premiado ése año con el galardón de campeón del torneo de expertos, y meditando que vestir para su discurso de presentación ,se decidió por mandar a hacer una prenda única, y pidió que la camiseta más amarilla que jamás hubiése existido.
Abu Kabriti cumplió y envió la prenda a casa del campeón quien la sacó de la caja , se la puso y salió de prisa para llegar a tiempo.
Cuando entró al salón escuchó la ovación y las bocinas del recinto solicitaron su presencia en el podio.
Sonriente entre la felicidad de los asistentes, subió al sitio y se vió a sí mismo proyectado en una pantalla gigante. En el momento que bajaron las voces para oir a Trijuán, éste comenzó a gritar desgarradoramente, casi a sangrarse la garganta, desplomándose al piso y retorciéndose entre sus deseperados alaridos.
Varios organizadores acudieron en su auxilio, y al ponerlo de pie y lograr que regresara un poco a la calma, en sus oídos escuchaba las preguntas de ¿ Porqué ? y ¿Que le pasa?, principalmente entre la cascada de voces ansiosas y preocupadas. Incluso hubo quien aventuró la opinión de que pudiése consistir en algún tipo de terapia primal, de ésas en las que se recomienda que grite uno para exorcisar neurosis aún no resueltas. Reponiéndose un poco de su angustia, explicó que al verse en la pantalla, no pudo soportar que su camiseta fuése tan amarilla. Todos estuvieron de acuerdo.
ENGLISH VERSION.
Abu Kabriti, the world's most reknown clothier, had custom designed a golf shirt for the current year's champion of the Tournament of experts, the one and only Trijohn Casey.
As the champ requested, it was to be the yellowest shirt ever made, and he would wear it for his acceptance speech at the Golf Gala event.
Abu Kabriti delivered the shirt and Trijohn changed into it, and rushed to the awards ceremony.
As he came in he could hear both the standing ovation and his name blared on the speakers, so he went up to the podium and as he adjusted the microphone, he saw himself appear on the giant screen.
He suddenly fell to the ground screaming so loud that his throat was about to bleed, and his body was shaking as if it was on fire. The organizers ran to render him help, and almost choking , trying to catch his breath; when he finally calmed down he could hear a barrage of questions, mainly : Why?, and What's wrong. Someone ventured to say that maybe it was a case of primal therapy, where you yell out to release unsolved issues from childhood.
He regained his composure enough to state the he could not cope with the fact that his shirt was so overly yellow. Everyone agreed with him.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
JURASIC.© Carlos de la Parra.( Lean y sobrevivan ésto--Read and survive this micro story) BILINGUAL VERSIONS, FOR ENGLISH, CLIC DOWN,
Había perdido la fortuna de su esposa en la creación de un centro de diversiones, basado en dinosaurios y mamuts mecanizados .
Algo falló, los niños le tenían miedo a las bestias, fabricadas con extremo realismo, y más horror tuvieron los que pasaban por la calle, al ser atacados por las gigantescas máquinas que se salieron de control.
Un corto en el mecanismo de ataque, y se combinaron las funciones de avanzar y rugir amenazadoramente, con las de comerse vacas enteras, lo cual se basaba en un truco por el cual deglutían reses vivas pero no las masticaban, así podían utilizarse repetidas veces, y era impresionante éste efecto especial, pues las vacas mugían con un volumen acorde al terror de verse capturadas.
Pues abreviando, y como suele suceder en éste tipo de casos, vinieron las demandas por los muertos, los coches volcados en el incidente y la factura que pasó la ciudad por el despliegue policiaco.
Deseperado nuestro antiheróico empresario, Caritino Somorrostro, fué a jugarse su última carta salvadora e hizo una visita a su suegra la millonaria banquera, a quien mostró un video donde se desarrollaba una tórrida escena amorosa que habían tenido ellos dos recientemente.
La distinguida dama, muy vivida y difícil de sentir sorpresa ante lo que sea, expresó:
--- ¿ Y que piensas hacer con ésto?---
Caritino respondió con dulzura:
---Si me das dinero, no te chantajeo, querida.---
Cuando despertó, su suegra todavía estaba ahí.
ENGLISH VERSION
He lost his wife's entire fortune on a venture that had promised great success. An amusement park for kids, with large life like mechanical dinosaurs and mammoths that ran around performing quite a realistic show.
But somethings went awry, the children were scared of the beasts, and ,no wonder, it was horrifying to see them perform the hunt of live cows, in which they would fiercely growl and pick them up with the jaws and swallowed them whole, it was only a special effect because the cattle would enter into a cushioned chamber and come out unharmed, but they would express their mooing whines to project their total fear.
And as in previous cases of robotic malfunctions, some short circuit instance threw the whole pack into attack mode, and they broke out of the park into the city streets causing havoc not to mention death and destruction.
The lawsuits unleashed from death and cars and buses flipped over like in an overdone Hollywood ending, surpassed the insurance coverage bringing our anti hero, Tony Faceworthy, into total ruin.
So Tony went directly to his mother in law's mansion, and showed this legendary lady banker a video featuring both of them in a torrid love scene.
The woman who had a character beyond any possibility of being surprised by anything, asked matter of factly,:---And what do you pretend to do with this, dearest?---
Faceworthy sweetly shot back with:---If you give me money, I won't blackmail you, sweetheart.---
When he woke up, his mother in law was still there.
Algo falló, los niños le tenían miedo a las bestias, fabricadas con extremo realismo, y más horror tuvieron los que pasaban por la calle, al ser atacados por las gigantescas máquinas que se salieron de control.
Un corto en el mecanismo de ataque, y se combinaron las funciones de avanzar y rugir amenazadoramente, con las de comerse vacas enteras, lo cual se basaba en un truco por el cual deglutían reses vivas pero no las masticaban, así podían utilizarse repetidas veces, y era impresionante éste efecto especial, pues las vacas mugían con un volumen acorde al terror de verse capturadas.
Pues abreviando, y como suele suceder en éste tipo de casos, vinieron las demandas por los muertos, los coches volcados en el incidente y la factura que pasó la ciudad por el despliegue policiaco.
Deseperado nuestro antiheróico empresario, Caritino Somorrostro, fué a jugarse su última carta salvadora e hizo una visita a su suegra la millonaria banquera, a quien mostró un video donde se desarrollaba una tórrida escena amorosa que habían tenido ellos dos recientemente.
La distinguida dama, muy vivida y difícil de sentir sorpresa ante lo que sea, expresó:
--- ¿ Y que piensas hacer con ésto?---
Caritino respondió con dulzura:
---Si me das dinero, no te chantajeo, querida.---
Cuando despertó, su suegra todavía estaba ahí.
ENGLISH VERSION
He lost his wife's entire fortune on a venture that had promised great success. An amusement park for kids, with large life like mechanical dinosaurs and mammoths that ran around performing quite a realistic show.
But somethings went awry, the children were scared of the beasts, and ,no wonder, it was horrifying to see them perform the hunt of live cows, in which they would fiercely growl and pick them up with the jaws and swallowed them whole, it was only a special effect because the cattle would enter into a cushioned chamber and come out unharmed, but they would express their mooing whines to project their total fear.
And as in previous cases of robotic malfunctions, some short circuit instance threw the whole pack into attack mode, and they broke out of the park into the city streets causing havoc not to mention death and destruction.
The lawsuits unleashed from death and cars and buses flipped over like in an overdone Hollywood ending, surpassed the insurance coverage bringing our anti hero, Tony Faceworthy, into total ruin.
So Tony went directly to his mother in law's mansion, and showed this legendary lady banker a video featuring both of them in a torrid love scene.
The woman who had a character beyond any possibility of being surprised by anything, asked matter of factly,:---And what do you pretend to do with this, dearest?---
Faceworthy sweetly shot back with:---If you give me money, I won't blackmail you, sweetheart.---
When he woke up, his mother in law was still there.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
BASE BALL& JESUS. © Carlos de la Parra. (clic down for english version)
Había regresado y las masas lo seguían aún más de lo descrito en el Nuevo Testamento.
Nuevamente encarnado en hombre pero con la ventaja de vivir una segunda vuelta.
En la anterior se confió, más ésta vez aunque humano no sería tan ingenuo.
Para comenzar ya había vuelto al templo con su látigo para expulsar a quienes en su nombre lucraron, asimismo desmanteló la industria bélica, eliminó el esquema del sistema económico a que fuése justo y participativo y mandó a los malvados a estar con su padre eterno,por secula seculorum.
Tenía a los fans enloquecidos al provocar un renacimiento mundial y la ovación estalló cuando pasó a batear por los Gigantes con las bases llenas.
Con el más espectacular batazo la sacó del estadio y caminó las bases para cerrar las cuatro carreras.
Era de esperarse, jamás en la historia se narra que él haya corrido.
Demostró que bastaba con caminar.
ENGLISH VERSION. clic down to read.
He was back and the masses were larger than in biblical times. Obviously.
It was the second coming, and although human again he had learned from experience, and this time he made sure there would be no crucifixion.
In that glorious week he lashed out of the temple those who had turned his name into a bussiness, dismantled all wars and the weapons industry and rebuilt the economy to include everyone into the benefits, and men of evil were sent away to be with God into eternity.
The stadium exploded in raving ovation when he came to bat for the Giants with men on all bases.
In grand style he slammed it out of the stadium, and walked all the way to home base, the cheers, the voices, it was the greatest moment in sports history ever.
It was to be expected. There was no precedent of him ever running.
He showed them walking would suffice.
Nuevamente encarnado en hombre pero con la ventaja de vivir una segunda vuelta.
En la anterior se confió, más ésta vez aunque humano no sería tan ingenuo.
Para comenzar ya había vuelto al templo con su látigo para expulsar a quienes en su nombre lucraron, asimismo desmanteló la industria bélica, eliminó el esquema del sistema económico a que fuése justo y participativo y mandó a los malvados a estar con su padre eterno,por secula seculorum.
Tenía a los fans enloquecidos al provocar un renacimiento mundial y la ovación estalló cuando pasó a batear por los Gigantes con las bases llenas.
Con el más espectacular batazo la sacó del estadio y caminó las bases para cerrar las cuatro carreras.
Era de esperarse, jamás en la historia se narra que él haya corrido.
Demostró que bastaba con caminar.
ENGLISH VERSION. clic down to read.
He was back and the masses were larger than in biblical times. Obviously.
It was the second coming, and although human again he had learned from experience, and this time he made sure there would be no crucifixion.
In that glorious week he lashed out of the temple those who had turned his name into a bussiness, dismantled all wars and the weapons industry and rebuilt the economy to include everyone into the benefits, and men of evil were sent away to be with God into eternity.
The stadium exploded in raving ovation when he came to bat for the Giants with men on all bases.
In grand style he slammed it out of the stadium, and walked all the way to home base, the cheers, the voices, it was the greatest moment in sports history ever.
It was to be expected. There was no precedent of him ever running.
He showed them walking would suffice.
RIGOR MORTIS.© Carlos de la Parra. ( Bilingual versions, clic down for english)
---No te vayas a reír aquí en el funeral; pero ésto de que los cuerpos se hayan salido de los ataúdes y vengan hacia nosotros, parece escena de los muertos vivientes,---
----¿ Crees que nos quieran hacer daño?----
ENGLISH VERSION. (CLIC DOWN TO READ),
---Please don't start laughing here at the funeral. But all these bodies that got out of the coffins and are coming at us , seem like they're right out of a scene from "The living dead".---
----Do you think they'll attack us...?---
----¿ Crees que nos quieran hacer daño?----
ENGLISH VERSION. (CLIC DOWN TO READ),
---Please don't start laughing here at the funeral. But all these bodies that got out of the coffins and are coming at us , seem like they're right out of a scene from "The living dead".---
----Do you think they'll attack us...?---
Sunday, October 9, 2011
GUARDIAN. ©Carlos de la Parra. SPANISH--ENGLISH VERSIONS. clic down to read.
Desde que dejó de formar parte de las fuerzas especiales se dedicaba a cuidar las espaldas del millonario banquero. Lo más valioso que había adquirido en su entrenamiento era la capacitación psíquica, a través de la cual podía detectar de antemano presencias agresivas dentro de los que rodeaban a ÚNICO, nombre código asignado a quien tenía la misión de proteger.
Cuando llegaron al distrito financiero bajó del auto de avanzada, en el cual hacía su arribo en forma anónima para captar las presencias y sus vibraciones y de ahí poder radiar órdenes pertinentes al resto del equipo de seguridad. Estaba presente una multitud de indignados manifestando su inconformidad. Palpó las voces de las mentes con tanta claridad , que autorizó el descenso de la comitiva, ÚNICO estaba por caer, y él, su guardián, había convocado a toda ésa masa en su contra, pues más que nadie conocía sus culpas, y no éstaba de acuerdo con la injusticia que prevalecía en su mundo.
CLIC DOWN TO READ ENGLISH VERSION.
Since he was discharged from the special forces he was in charge of the millionaire banker's security squad.
The most valuable part of his training had been psychic perception, through which he could pick out any threatening presence surrounding code name UNIQUE, the man he kept away from harm's way.
As he arrived ahead of the group, as he always did, anonimously, so he could radio the clearance to arrive for the banker and the rest, he saw the protesters who wanted the economy to be transformed into a new operative pattern along with everything else that was wrong with the world.
He smiled and gave the all clear. He now knew this was the beginning of the end for UNIQUE and his gang.
And it was him, his guardian who had summoned all those people to action, since he was witness to his evil, and disagreed with the prevalence of so much injustice in his world.
Cuando llegaron al distrito financiero bajó del auto de avanzada, en el cual hacía su arribo en forma anónima para captar las presencias y sus vibraciones y de ahí poder radiar órdenes pertinentes al resto del equipo de seguridad. Estaba presente una multitud de indignados manifestando su inconformidad. Palpó las voces de las mentes con tanta claridad , que autorizó el descenso de la comitiva, ÚNICO estaba por caer, y él, su guardián, había convocado a toda ésa masa en su contra, pues más que nadie conocía sus culpas, y no éstaba de acuerdo con la injusticia que prevalecía en su mundo.
CLIC DOWN TO READ ENGLISH VERSION.
Since he was discharged from the special forces he was in charge of the millionaire banker's security squad.
The most valuable part of his training had been psychic perception, through which he could pick out any threatening presence surrounding code name UNIQUE, the man he kept away from harm's way.
As he arrived ahead of the group, as he always did, anonimously, so he could radio the clearance to arrive for the banker and the rest, he saw the protesters who wanted the economy to be transformed into a new operative pattern along with everything else that was wrong with the world.
He smiled and gave the all clear. He now knew this was the beginning of the end for UNIQUE and his gang.
And it was him, his guardian who had summoned all those people to action, since he was witness to his evil, and disagreed with the prevalence of so much injustice in his world.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
TAO. © Carlos de la Parra. ( Bilingual versions. Clic down for english)
En las pantallas de los monitores de las oficinas desde las cuales se espía a todo ciudadano, se observó un video con el siguiente audio, grabado dentro de un consultorio psiquiátrico.
----Pues no, doctor, no me catalogo como persona feliz en lo más mínimo. En mi opinión la felicidad es asunto propio de imbéciles.---
----¿ Acaso prefiere ser infeliz?---
----No diga idioteces doctor, que no le queda. Lo mío es el absoluto vacío. Yo soy Taoísta.---
----Ah, qué envidia.-----
ENGLISH VERSION. clic down to read.
On the screens of the monitors from which every citizen is spied on. The following conversation was observed and recorded at a psychiatrist's office.
----My answer to that is no, doctor. I do not consider myself a happy person. I believe happiness is a concern for idiotic people.---
----So , would you state that you prefer being unhappy ?----
----Inaccurate doctor. Such a statement is unbecoming to a man of your stature. I'm into total vaccum. Mine is the way of Tao.---
----I truly envy you---.
----Pues no, doctor, no me catalogo como persona feliz en lo más mínimo. En mi opinión la felicidad es asunto propio de imbéciles.---
----¿ Acaso prefiere ser infeliz?---
----No diga idioteces doctor, que no le queda. Lo mío es el absoluto vacío. Yo soy Taoísta.---
----Ah, qué envidia.-----
ENGLISH VERSION. clic down to read.
On the screens of the monitors from which every citizen is spied on. The following conversation was observed and recorded at a psychiatrist's office.
----My answer to that is no, doctor. I do not consider myself a happy person. I believe happiness is a concern for idiotic people.---
----So , would you state that you prefer being unhappy ?----
----Inaccurate doctor. Such a statement is unbecoming to a man of your stature. I'm into total vaccum. Mine is the way of Tao.---
----I truly envy you---.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
DARWIN. © Carlos de la Parra. ( Clic down to read in english).
En el momento en que el señor Carlos Darwin se dió cuenta de que no había solamente un eslabón perdido, sino miles que caminaban entre nosotros , fué demasiado tarde, pues murió sin reportarlo.
ENGLISH VERSION.
By the time Mr.Charles Darwin noticed there was not one missing link, but thousands of them walking amongst us, it was too late, he died before he had a chance to report it.
ENGLISH VERSION.
By the time Mr.Charles Darwin noticed there was not one missing link, but thousands of them walking amongst us, it was too late, he died before he had a chance to report it.
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